Day 17, yikes not long to go now. Although seriously considering adding another 2 weeks, because I’m crazy and all 😛
Not much has happened today. I demolished the rest of the kale, mung beans sprouts and whatever other veges needed to be eaten. Everything was raw, apart from the sauce (the tahini I use isn’t raw). Certainly gave me a zing of energy afterwards, and my stomach didn’t feel weighed down. It is one of my goals to be high-raw, as it is something that Brendan Brazier espouses from Thrive.
I also got news today that one of my cousins had her baby, a boy. He was breech, and she tried everything under the sun to get him to turn. But due to the lack of training that medical professionals have in this country to do a vaginal delivery of a breech presentation, she had a c-section. It is a lost skill amongst obstetricians, and the only people I know of who will deliver a breech baby vaginally are midwives who specialise in home births.
I had a c-section myself with my son, and it is a decision I regret everyday. I was talked into it by an obstetrician, and because it was my first pregnancy and I wanted the ‘best’ for my son, I agreed to it. My c-section was booked in when I was 16 weeks pregnant with my son, and I was given a range of dates to choose from. I was due on New Years Day, but because the doctor would be on holiday, I had him at 38 weeks 5 days gestation (2 days before Christmas). It was pretty clear he wasn’t ready to be born, as he was a little over 6 pounds when he was born, and did not look happy at all when he was pulled out. I wish I had followed my intuition and had a home birth. If I ever have another child, I will be staying away from a hospital, especially after doing a year of clinical placement at a tertiary hospital last year as part of my midwifery studies (which are on indefinite hiatus at the moment).
Having my son is what really got me into living closer to nature and also sticking to a vegan lifestyle. I did so much research on nutrition and breastfeeding when I was pregnant. Even thought I had a c-section, I am happy that I breastfed my son to full-term (2 years 7 months), and allowed him to wean at his own pace. I get a lot of flack from family members over my ‘alternative’ lifestyle (which I think is just normal) and practicing attachment parenting, but it doesn’t bother me. I am doing something that is compassionate, is kind to the environment, and is what humans are biologically suppose to do.
Wowsers, this post has kinda gone off on a tangent, but it relates to Louise L. Hay. Its all about forgiveness. Forgiving people who have done you wrong, and forgiving yourself for wrongs you have done. She has this say about it in page 90 of The Power Is Within You – “No matter what avenue of spirituality you follow you will usually find that forgiveness is an enormous issue at any time….. usually the very person who we think we will never forgive is the one we need to forgive the most. Not forgiving someone else doesn’t harm the person in the slighest, but it plays havoc with us. The issue aren’t theirs; the issues are ours.
That may irrate some people reading this, but if you think about it long enough, it is true. I am in the process of forgiving everyone that has done me wrong, but I am also forgiving myself for the wrongs that I have done. As I mentioned on my previous post, everyone if a reflection of us. Holding grudges against people eats away at you inside.
It has been a pretty cathartic experience for over the past couple of days as I do the exercises, affirmations and meditations in both You Can Heal Your Life and The Power Is Within You. I’ve been beating my pillows and my bed to release years of pent-up frustrations, anger, regrets, sadness and grudges. It has really made me re-examine my life and how I approach people and wha I say and think. Louise rightly says “the grudges and hurts you feel have to do with forgiving yourself, not someone else”
So an affirmation to finish this post off is – “I am willing to free myself from the past. I am willing to forgive all those who may ever have harmed me and I forgive myself for having harmed others“